"No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough." -Roger Ebert

Category: 0.5 Star Reviews

March 16, 2013 + 0.5 Star Reviews, Quick Reviews

Quick Review: Fear Island (2009)

FEAR ISLAND BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLMARCH 16, 2013 Poorly acted, poorly presented, and wholly telegraphed, “Fear Island” has very little to offer, in line with every other bottom-barrel horror B-movie squeezed out these days. Haley Duff shows zero control of her emotions and flails through the laughable direction thrown her way. RELEASE DATESeptember 8, 2009 DIRECTORMichael Storey WRITTEN BYJack HarryJeff Martel STUDIOWaterfront Pictures PG-13(for some … Read More Quick Review: Fear Island (2009)

January 13, 2011 + 0.5 Star Reviews, Reviews

Movie Review: Piranha 3D (2010)

by Christopher Haskell

Either the money was good or the stars of “Piranha 3D” have truly fallen off the deep end. Shue, Scott, Lloyd, and Dreyfuss are too successful to be slumming in this caricature of a relevant horror remake. The graphics are obviously better than the original, 30 plus years later, but otherwise this film should have dropped the big stars, added more adult entertainers, and simply become pornography.

September 9, 2010 + 0.5 Star Reviews, Reviews

Movie Review: Neighbor (2009)

by Christopher Haskell

The Neighbor is a glorified gore medley, trying viciously too hard to compare to the likes of Hostel and the Saw franchise. Without a comprehensible plot and lack of a single legitimate actor or actress, the film falls flat… and hard.

July 7, 2010 + 0.5 Star Reviews, Reviews

Movie Review: The Outside (2010)

by Christopher Haskell

THE OUTSIDE BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJULY 7, 2010 Props have to be given to the advertising agency on this one, putting together the promotional artwork for the film. They got me, hook, line, and sinker. The artwork for the film makes it look unforgettable. The reality of the film… completely forgotten. Did you like the animated surfing film “Surf’s Up?” If so, the beginning of … Read More Movie Review: The Outside (2010)

June 29, 2010 + 0.5 Star Reviews, Reviews

Movie Review: Thirst (2010)

by Christopher Haskell

THIRST BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJUNE 29, 2010 There are three assumptions I like to make about films before I see them: 1) That someone read the screenplay and actually thought it was a good idea, 2) That while shooting said film, that the cast and crew actually thought it was still a good idea, and 3) that after wrap, the director and producer actually watched … Read More Movie Review: Thirst (2010)