Theatrical Releases: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days & Total Recall

TOTAL RECALL || August 3rd, 2012

	360 \|\| Among several other actors, Ben Foster rounds out a list of actors that will get me to see their films no matter what. That being said, Foster stars in this “full circle” dramatic piece in which the stories of several different characters are intertwined with the rest of the cast of characters. Titlted “360”, Foster plays a convict just being released from jail, along with several other well-known cast members like Anthony Hopkins, Jude Law, and Rachel Weisz.	RENT
	CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER \|\| Written by leading actress Raisha Jones and directed by Lee Toland Krieger (“The Vicious Kind”), “Celeste and Jesse Forever” appears to be the perfect dark, Indie, romantic comedy about best friends who were once married and get divorced, but remain best friends regardless. In a much needed sincere and dramatic role for Andy Samberg, this is definitely on the list of films that could end up being my favorite by the end of the year (and I haven’t even seen it yet!).	THEATER
	DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: DOG DAYS \|\| What happens when the star of your franchise about kids, doesn’t look or even sound like a kid anymore? Zachary Gordon, the leading former “kid” of the “Diary of a Wimpy” series, has hit puberty and with his low voice and chiseled jaw, he just doesn’t fit the part anymore. To be fair, the film does seem higher caliber than most live action kids’ films coming out these days and coming out in the summer seems a perfect fit for this film, just not for me.	PASS
	TOTAL RECALL \|\| A not-quite-entirely sequel of the 1990’s version, “Total Recall” is the major blockbuster releasing this weekend. With Colin Farrell in a return to form (see “S.W.A.T.” if you haven’t) and the gorgeous female duo of Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel, “Total Recall” has something for everyone. Though don’t expect to head to Mars in the version, you can still get an update glimpse of a mutant prostitute with three breasts.	THEATER

	ASSASSIN’S BULLET \|\| One of two low quality releases starring Christian Slater, “Assassin’s Bullet” attempts to create action in having its leading man track down an assassin killing people with a sniper rifle. The only problem is, this trailer doesn’t make you care whatsoever. Also starring Donald Sutherland, you have to wonder what got them in front of the camera for this one.	PASS
	THE BABYMAKERS \|\| Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar (“Super Troopers” and “Beerfest”) and starring most of the rest of the Broken Lizard crew, Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn play a couple who are trying to have a baby, but finding out he may be infertile, Schneider’s character returns to a sperm-bank he once deposited to, to get some of his sperm. When the bank will not release to him his own sperm, he gathers a crew that will attempt to break into the sperm-bank for a heist. Filled with what can only be sick humor, for Paul Schneider alone, I will eventually see this film.	RENT
	CHAINED \|\| In another directing venture from Jennifer Lynch (daughter of David Lynch), “Chained” follows in horror genre fashion as a serial killer taxi driver (played by Vincent D’Onofrio) kidnaps a boy and his mother. Holding the boy captive and letting him grow up to form some depraved relationship with the serial killer, “Chained” is being called “one of the most controversial and uncompromising thrillers of our time”.	STREAM
	CRAIGSLIST JOE \|\| A documentary about a man living completely off of Craiglist ads while traveling the country (places to sleep, finding jobs, finding food), “Craigslist Joe” has the been-there-done-that feel of many exploratory documentaries that came before it, but brings it to the new age (even though Craigslist is getting rather old). Not sure why Zach Galifianakis is bringing this to us as producer.	STREAM
	DREAMS OF A LIFE \|\| Taking the spot of the weekly documentary that I am fairly interested in seeing, “Dreams of a Life” is centered around a young woman who passed away in her London apartment (“bedset”) in 2003, however, her remains (basically just bones and teeth) were not discovered until three years later. The documentary is a filmmaker’s desire to discover this woman’s past and attempt to answer the question of how she wasn’t discovered missing for so long. Though filled with hokey reenactments, I believe this film has enough heart to warrant a viewing (or at least some further reading).	STREAM
	MOSQUITA Y MARI \|\| Synopsis: After being assigned as study partners, two Chicana high schoolers find a bond that confuses them at times.	PASS
	SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE \|\| The second of two films starring Christian Slater as lead, “Soldiers of Fortune” has a much bigger cast than the prior film, but appears to squander them all the same.	PASS