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THE BAYTOWN OUTLAWS || Winning me over through its trailer, “The Baytown Outlaws” actually looks pretty good. Starring Billy Bob Thornton as the villain and Eva Longoria as the “damsel in distress”, both are on opposite sides of a battle for a little boy who inherits a trust fund when he turns 18 years old. What ensues appears to be a battle between three hick brothers, and hired assassins. With a certain edgy style, this film actually looks worth watching.
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CLANDESTINE CHILDHOOD || The young love story in “Clandestine Childhood” has me intrigued. Returning home under different names, the young boy Juan and his family keep a low profile. While Juan is in school, he meets a young girl and they fall for each other. But because of the families political activities, the hunt for them never ends and they are forced to leave again, providing that perfect strained young love scenario. |
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A HAUNTED HOUSE || Get ready for weed jokes, fart jokes, and racial stereotypes. As dumb as this film looks, I still might have to see it just to see how dumb it actually is. Written by Marlon Wayans and starring a sorted crew, this is basically picking up where “Scary Movie” left off, but spoofing “Paranormal Activity” almost solely. |
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THE HELPERS || What the fuck was the song playing in this trailer. It was absolutely horrible and does not help this mildly interesting looking horror film about friends that get stranded at a motel after their car breaks down on the way to Vegas. Once they find out they’re locked in their motel rooms and that they’ll eventually be tortured and killed, the game’s on. “The Helpers” looks to rehash a lot of old horror films and attempts to rejuvenate the “Paranormal” camera genre. But still, the horror film aficionado in me still might see this film. |
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HORRID HENRY: THE MOVIE || Apparently the English’s comparison to “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”, this film looks absolutely dismal and how it got a 3D release is beyond me, showing a sign that 3D films must be getting cheaper to make, which is a sad sign of the times to come for every crappy movie that feels like 3D could somehow make it better. There is absolutely nothing about this film that is original and nothing about this film that makes it ever worth watching. |
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I AM NOT A HIPSTER || Not sure what this film is about from its trailer at least, looking into the description, apparently it is exactly what the trailer led me to believe. Depicting a musician walking around aimlessly, the synopsis describes as such: “A young singer-songwriter with a growing local following wanders through his apathetic life.” |
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LET MY PEOPLE GO! || “Let My People Go” is a film about a gay man who leaves Finland and moves back to Paris to live with his eccentric family after he and his boyfriend have a falling out. The humor is all over the place (or just over my head) and there was nothing I could grasp from this trailer that would make me want to see this film. |
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QUARTET || Despite its star power in Maggie Smith, it is really tough for me to get excited about a film like “Quartet”, which is so outside my age range that it’s ridiculous. With hardly anything aimed at a younger generation, the stars are all much older, the subject matter is about a retirement home, and the jokes appear to be about everyone’s age and failing memories. I cannot say I’ll ever venture out for this one, but there is always a chance I’ll break and see it.
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$ELLEBRITY || Interested in the view points of this film, I will most likely see “Sellebrity”, not just because I live in Los Angeles and see this stuff almost every day, but because I too am puzzled by the mystics of paparazzi and celebrity-ism. With interviews from actual celebrities like Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, and Kidrock, along with footage of the masses known as paparazzi, this looks like a well made documentary.
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THE TOWER || Not sure I could watch a film about hundreds or thousands of people dying in a tower that is on fire and falling apart, “The Tower” is almost like a sick joke meant to extract heavy handed emotional performances from those dying and saving lives. Had 9/11 not been over 12 years ago, this film would not even be a question. But since it’s a foreign film, they probably just don’t give a shit.
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