Theatrical Releases: That Awkward Moment

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT || January 31st, 2014

	There’s several things about “Best Night Ever” that I do not understand. First of all, why guys that are producing legitimate horror films like “Paranormal Activity” and “The Conjuring” are now making found footage party films. And second of all, why there’s is not a genre of found footage party films, like “Project X” and an upcoming film from the same producers about a destination wedding. “Best Night Ever” looks horrible, plain and simple, banking on people who adore “The Hangover” and want to see women tearing it up in Las Vegas. My advice: save the money you’d put towards this film and go to Vegas.	PASS
	Having seen a version of this film at work, there’s no real reason for me to run out and see this romantic comedy from a man’s perspective again. I’ll save my review until I see it again, however, but in the meantine, “That Awkward Moment”, at least the version I saw early on, has a few things going for it, like up-and-comers Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan, who add fresh faces to the genre. Zac Efron, as well, as turned over a new leaf, first with this and later this year with the raunchy Seth Rogen comedy “Neighbors”, to which I respect. This is not the greatest romantic comedy ever but it does feel somewhat new and lands above average.	RENTAL
	My documentary pick of the week, this film is directed by Teller of Penn and Teller, to which both are friends with the Tim in “Tim’s Vermeer”. The story is quite interesting, as Tim explores his fascination with the 17th-century Dutch painter and the explicit details of his paintings, to which he is certain that a machine was used to create his masterpieces. Exploring that notion by recreating a similar machine and attempting to paint a replica of a Vermeer, Tim, who is not a painter by trade, also explores the boundaries of obsession and even states, were there not cameras around him, he would have just given up.	RENTAL

	There’s legitimate horror films, there’s B-level horror films, and then there’s this. “2 Bedroom 1 Bath” is borderline softcore pornography in its quality, with more nudity in its trailer than almost any trailer I’ve seen. This is probably to try and lure a male audience to come and watch this film, but it really makes the film look cheap. It doesn’t need much help with that, with weak makeup and even weaker acting, there’s really not a whole lot to latch onto in this film, at least from the trailer, depicting a psychotic mother who kills her child in an apartment and then the apartment is rented out to new tenants.	PASS
	Are films like “12 O’Clock Boys” trying to glorify these young, careless daredevils with notions like immortality? I see this trailer and all I can be is frustrated that these boys and young men have no cares for their or anyone else’s safety. Sure, they want to go out on their dirt bikes and four wheelers and kill themselves, all power to them. But to get others involved and to show no remorse is what kills me. I also had a revelation. Just because someone is born somewhere or just because some grows up somewhere, does not make them the rulers of that place. The world is not ours to take and rule, yet most people hold some sort entitlement, i.e. “my streets”, “my town”, etc. This documentary would piss me off too much if I watched it.	PASS
	After watching the trailer for “Armistice”, I am still in the dark as to what its about. It depicts a man sewing himself up as he talks about being locked away and wondering what it will be like for the next person locked up. Regardless, the quality of the film doesn’t scream for me to see it and there’s no noticeable talent in the one minute trailer, so for that, I will not bother.	PASS
	“At Middleton” is as basic a romantic comedy as one can get. Two parents meet while bringing their kids to a college tour. With their kids not wanting their participation, the two, played by greats Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga, wander off on their own campus exploration, getting to know one another in the process. There’s not a whole lot of comedy at play in this trailer, save for the couple getting in trouble for not following the tour, but for the most part this is basic romantic comedy fare. But with those two leads, this will be hard to pass up.	50% PROBABLY
	There really isn’t much to “Brightest Star” and the trailer makes that clear. It’s about a young man who decides to quit his carefree lifestyle and take on an “actual” job to impress the girl of his dreams. Coerced by those around him, the lead must decide where his heart really lies. Chris Lowell stars, to whom I have enjoyed since his stint on “Veronica Mars”. Also vets like Allison Janney and Clark Gregg fill out the adult roles. Rose McIver, to whom I am not familiar with, looks beautiful and will likely pull off the object of affection role quite nicely.	RENTAL
	Kudos to whomever created the poster for “California Scheming” and this goes for many other films, in that the promotional artwork is often so catchy for certain independent films, that it instantly gets you excited for the film. However, more often than not, the film does not look as good, especially from the trailer. “California Scheming” is no different, with poor quality, a dismal cast, and heavy-handed dialogue that contains zero interest despite acting like its God’s gift to storytelling. The attractive Gia Mantegna deserves better and so does the poster creator.	PASS
	What a generic attempt at a horror film. “The Haunting of the Innocent”? That’s funny to me. The editor of this trailer understands the idea of syncopation, but beyond that, I have no idea what the story is about or why this is even scary. Birds and blood and women lying on the floor just do not scream original horror to me. I believe this is a straight-to-DVD release as well, so I can’t even make that comment about it.	PASS
	For being a foreign romantic comedy, “Love Is In The Air” doesn’t look half bad. About a playboy that gets stuck on a 6 hour flight with an ex-girlfriend that he regarded as “the one”, they’re forced to hash out what went wrong while trying to tolerate sitting next to one another. Although the actors do not look familiar to me and the voice-over narration in the trailer is straight out of a Disney movie, that’s not enough to ruin the chemistry between the leads and the typical, yet interesting romantic storyline involved.	25% MAYBE
	Sorry, but I can’t even bring myself to watch this trailer.	PASS
	Good God. Like “Sharknados” success wasn’t bad enough, now we get gems like “Stonados”. What’s worse than sharks flying out of a tornado? What’s the next leap film-makers can make? How about exploding stones that fly out of tornadoes? Yup, exploding stones. That is so stupid and lame that there simply are no words. I will never see this film and my head will hang in collective shame for all the future stupid tornado movies to come.	HELL NO
	The trailer for “The Wait” did little for me. But reading the description and seeing that it’s about two sisters who wait after they’re told that their deceased mother will be resurrected makes the film so much more interesting. I love Jena Malone and Chloe Sevigny, but with such an artsy trailer, it’s hard to grasp on to anything from them. But paired with this struggle of whether to believe that their mother will return or not adds something of interest and ends up making me want to see it.	50% PROBABLY