Category: 2.5 Star Reviews

Movie Review: Guns Akimbo (2020)

GUN AKIMBO BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLMAY 1, 2020 “No respawns. No one-ups. No extra lives. I just killed this fucking guy.” — Miles (Daniel Radcliffe) Welcome to SKIZM, an online televised deathmatch run by a face-tattooed overlord pitting gun-wielding strangers against each other for entertainment. Sounds plausible enough to me. We’re probably only about ten seasons away from “Survivor” doing shit like this. “Guns Akimbo” … Read More Movie Review: Guns Akimbo (2020)

Movie Review: The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death (2015)

THE WOMAN IN BLACK 2: ANGEL OF DEATH BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJANUARY 12, 2015 “The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death” lives and dies by jump scares. Void of any real horror innovations or standout performances, the tension is built through atmospheric suspense, relying on dark corners and moving shadows to do all the heavy lifting. Revisiting the daunting Eel Marsh House from the … Read More Movie Review: The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death (2015)

Quick Review: The Expendables 3 (2014)

THE EXPENDABLES 3 BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLDECEMBER 14, 2014 Sylvester Stallone continues to help write and star in his bombastic action series, this time delivering the first PG-13 endeavor, “The Expendables 3”. Overloading the cast with even more action stars and even poking fun at that fact in the trailer, Stallone has officially outdone himself. With almost all of the former cast returning, including Jason … Read More Quick Review: The Expendables 3 (2014)

Movie Review: Sex Tape (2014)

SEX TAPE BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLOCTOBER 20, 2014 “Who has sex for three hours? That’s the length of the movie “Lincoln.” You did the full “Lincoln.” —Robbie (Rob Corddry) The first thing to wrap your head around in the raunchy comedy “Sex Tape” is that the smoking hot Cameron Diaz, at 42 years old, is married to Jason Segel, who is 34 years old. The … Read More Movie Review: Sex Tape (2014)

Quick Review: Earth To Echo (2014)

EARTH TO ECHO BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJULY 2, 2014 “I’m going to tell you a story and I’m not supposed to tell anyone so keep it between us. We were normal kids until we discovered something.” — Tuck (Brian “Astro” Bradley) Here is my theory: director David Green saw “Super 8” and heard critics call it a mix between “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” and “Cloverfield,” pairing … Read More Quick Review: Earth To Echo (2014)

Movie Review: Walk Of Shame (2014)

WALK OF SHAME BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJUNE 18, 2014 Urban dictionary defines a “walk of shame” as “the walk home after a one night stand”. Further extrapolated, “one usually wears either the clothes they went out in (i.e. short skirt and heels) or the clothing of the person they slept with (i.e. a large white t-shirt) the morning after”. In the film bearing that title, … Read More Movie Review: Walk Of Shame (2014)

Movie Review: Plus One (2013)

PLUS ONE (+1) BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLMARCH 29, 2014 No doubt, at some point in your life, you’ve heard the Golden Rule, but in case you haven’t, it is “do unto others as you would have them do to you”. This adage is meant to keep children from harming one another, but it is just a great philosophy to live by. But what would happen … Read More Movie Review: Plus One (2013)

Quick Review: Plush (2013)

PLUSH BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLFEBRUARY 10, 2014 Without the talented Emily Browning, “Plush” would almost be unwatchable. But with her innocent style mixed with the precarious nature of her character, she becomes the focal point of this feature as Hayley, the rockstar that loses her brother/bandmate to drugs. Following a poorly received second album, Hayley begins an intimate connection with her new guitarist Enzo (Xavier … Read More Quick Review: Plush (2013)

Quick Review: Despicable Me 2 (2013)

DESPICABLE ME 2 BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLFEBRUARY 1, 2014 Toss all the minions at me that you want, “Despicable Me 2” does nothing for me. Expanding off the original film, former super-villain Gru (Steve Carrell) turned foster father is taken captive by the Anti-Villain League, headed by Silas Ramsbottom (Steve Coogan), to consult for their latest case, a missing laboratory stolen by a giant magnet. … Read More Quick Review: Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Quick Review: Dirty Wars (2013)

DIRTY WARS BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJANUARY 27, 2014 Investigative journalist Jeremy Scahill, known for his book “Blackwater,” tells the story of his trip to Afghanistan, as he delves into the mystery of unsanctioned U.S. Army night raids. Despite his over-dramatic voice-over narration, the interviews he has with many of the people involved with the war are very informative. The Army veteran that he interviews state … Read More Quick Review: Dirty Wars (2013)

Quick Review: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJANUARY 14, 2014 To sum up “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” into one word; derivative. Copying just about every horror and possession device in the book, this detour in the franchise adds nothing to the narrative yet tries to attach itself desperately to the previous installments. Once again we meet new characters who are simply living their … Read More Quick Review: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)

Quick Review: Sweetwater (2013)

SWEETWATER BY CHRISTOPHER HASKELLJANUARY 14, 2014 A Western at heart, “Sweetwater” loses its footing on more than one occasion, arguing whether to be a serious, full-on wild west revival or an eccentric stomping ground for its colorful cast of characters. Most of the characters in the film are cartoonish, especially the villain, Prophet Josiah (Jason Isaacs) who preaches to his congregation one second, kills … Read More Quick Review: Sweetwater (2013)